Going Against Culture in your Marriage...sadly, many marriages today are failing because someone wasn’t happy. So they check out and pursue happiness elsewhere until they are no longer happy there either. We live in a very selfish and self-serving culture that shouts the message, “Do what makes you happy”. The problem with this worldview is we become self-absorbed and selfish. When you get sucked into this worldview, you tend to forget your actions and reactions affect those around you and not just yourself. This mentality goes against the grain of marriage and family where you need to look to the interest and needs of others and sometimes you need to give up what you want in the moment for the best interest of others.
Marriage is costly. I am always amazed by how much couples spend on weddings only to end up divorced just a few years later. Marriage costs so much more than your rings, your wedding, your reception, and your honeymoon. You are going to have to invest into your marriage to make it work. What you put into it, is what you will get back. Trust me, it can be your greatest investment and your greatest reward.
Marriage isn’t about you. It’s about love and learning to love. Love isn’t selfish and self absorbed. It is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. True love is about daily sacrifice, forgiveness, and serving and then waking up the next day and choosing to do it all over again and again. When couples grasp this, they transform their marriage.
This is what it looks like…this is love...this is marriage...
Marriage is waking up and cleaning the messy kitchen even when you don’t feel like it.
Marriage is forgiving when you’d rather stay mad after a heated argument.
Marriage is listening after a long day of work when you’d rather check out and just go to bed.
Marriage is swinging by and picking up stuff from the store because your spouse needs it.
Marriage is choosing to respond in love rather than getting angry and impatient.
Marriage is loving the things you could let drive you completely bonkers.
Marriage is finding time in your busy week to show your spouse you love them.
Marriage is loving and finding your wife beautiful with her extra 20 lbs, no make up, and sweats because she has had a long day running after your little ones.
Marriage is letting your spouse sleep in and getting up to take care of house and kids because you know your spouse has had a hard week and needs to rest.
Marriage is thinking ahead and looking for ways to serve and love your spouse to show them how much they mean to you.
Marriage is texting and checking in with your spouse just to let them know you are thinking about them.
Marriage is laughing, dating, and spending your life getting to know the one created for you.
Here’s the thing…the world is going to tell you the opposite. The minute things get hard and we feel unhappy the world tells us to quit, to run, to bail. Believe it or not, if you learn to find joy in loving and serving your spouse, there you will find true happiness. Philippians 2:4 states, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interest, but each of you to the interest of others." Marriage is a team. Sometimes teammates have to sacrifice or work harder to make it work. Sometimes you have to get outside help and work towards health. When you work together for the cause of common goal, when you go against the grain of culture, you win, and there you will find true happiness.
One Change a Day...